Entertainment reporter mistakenly believes life’s work is meaningful

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LOS ANGELES — Family and friends of “E! News” co-anchor Maria Menounos expressed their concern this week upon learning that the 37-year-old former “Access Hollywood” correspondent genuinely believes her life’s work is meaningful.

“She cannot possibly believe that,” said Menounos’ friend and former “Extra” co-host Mario Lopez. “What we do becomes less significant with each passing second, and you could make a convincing case that entertainment newscast anchors are the most inconsequential people on earth.”

Often beginning broadcasts of her nightly entertainment news program with reports on the latest thinly veiled publicity stunt orchestrated by the widely reviled Kardashian family, Menounos has apparently convinced herself that such reportage plays an important role in a society facing such weighty issues as racial inequality and a widening wealth gap.

Dr. Penelope Hightower, chair at the Dartmouth University Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences, notes that Menounos’ unfounded belief that her life’s work is anything short of utterly trivial is indicative of psychological self-deception, a condition which often involves a person or persons convincing themselves to perceive negative situations optimistically.

“The psychology of self-deception is rather complicated, but if Ms. Menounos truly feels that reporting on the dating habits of pop star Justin Bieber is a worthwhile endeavor that serves some greater good, then she’s quite clearly assigning meaning where none belongs, most likely in a feeble attempt to justify an existence that must be extraordinarily empty,” said Hightower. “It’s perfectly reasonable for her loved ones to call into question her state of mind and to reconsider if it’s truly possible to love someone who assigns significance to something as negligible as summarizing ‘Bachelor’ episodes on basic cable.”

While sources indicate Menounos’ inner circle remains steadfast in its resolve to reconcile the bubbly bauble with the reality that her career is of no consequence to anyone or anything anywhere in the world, others feel it best to simply leave well enough alone.

“If she thinks standing on a red carpet for hours on end and sidling up to doped out people who pretend for a living before asking them inane questions about their outfits is making the world a better place, then more power to her,” said longtime “Entertainment Tonight” host Mary Hart, who retired from the show in 2011 after spending the previous three decades impersonating legitimate journalists. “Wish I had been that fucking stupid.”


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