CBS answers country’s increasingly urgent calls for hour-long jury analysis drama


LOS ANGELES — Mercifully responding to angst-ridden American viewers’ increasingly urgent calls for an hour-long drama based entirely on jury analysis, CBS will premiere the much-hyped “Bull” at 9 pm. EST on Tuesday.

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I’m really going to miss hitting tainted taters


By Alex Rodriguez

Whew! What a whirlwind the last two weeks have been! Hard to believe I’ve already been retired for seven steroid-free days, but it’s true!

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Beltway shakes upon learning coveted Antonio Sabáto Jr. endorsement had been won


CLEVELAND — On the eve of the Republican National Convention in this city, the reverberation that resulted from the news that the coveted Antonio Sabáto Jr. endorsement had been won could be felt roughly 400 miles away in Washington, D.C., where political insiders did not hesitate to speculate that the 2016 United States presidential election had just been all but won.

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Sources: ESPN sources just took a shit


BRISTOL, Conn. — With the annual frenzy surrounding the National Basketball Association free agency period set to begin in earnest this Friday, ESPN NBA insider Chris Broussard on Wednesday reported his sources have confirmed that some of his sources just took a shit.

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Clevelanders begin half-century wait for next champion


CLEVELAND — Fresh on the heels of witnessing their hometown Cleveland Cavaliers bring the city its first professional sports championship since 1964, Cleveland natives have officially begun waiting for the city’s next championship team, which is expected to arrive in northeastern Ohio no earlier than 2068.

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Forgotten History: Malachi ‘Four Testicles’ O’Bannion


From time to time, In Poor Taste looks back on forgotten slices of Americana. In this installment, we recall Dead-ball Era pitching great Malachi “Four Testicles” O’Bannion, a once-great pitcher for the St. Louis Browns and Pittsburgh Pirates who was born with four testicles, including one that hung from his left ear.

The history of baseball is rife with legendary players, colorful characters and a handful of groundbreaking figures who affected social change that still resonates today. But few figures from America’s pastime have proven as unique as Malachi “Four Testicles” O’Bannion, the first and thus far only player in baseball history to play with four testicles.

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